The Importance of Thinking Twice About Our First Time

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I would be remiss if I did not attempt to constructively contribute to the flood of vacuous, relationship-centred information we are being exposed to.

As a day of love, I have no doubt that some couples (and even singles) will be using today as an opportunity to consummate their relationships; sometimes for the ‘first time’. For many, the loss of virginity is often viewed as an important milestone in human development thought to herald the transition to adulthood. For others, it holds no special significance and plays little role in their sexual decisions.

However, recent research published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy suggests that, if you fall into the latter category, you may wish to rethink your standpoint. The researchers examined how first-time sexual satisfaction impact long-term sexual function as well as how first-time physical and emotional responses affect long-term sexual experiences.

The findings showed that positive first-time experiences were predictive of both physical and emotional satisfaction. This was particularly the case in those who felt loved and respected by their partners. These participants reported their later encounters more emotionally satisfying.

The scientists argued that, based on the results, we can suggest that our first-time sexual experiences could form a pattern of thought & behaviour that may dictate sexual experiences and our understanding of information concerning sexuality.

The moral of this story is simple ... Whether it’s Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve or simply a random encounter with a particularly attractive individual, this research supports the story that popular media has been attempting to sell us for years: your ‘first time’ is special and as such, should be dictated by feelings of attachment (if not love) and respect, rather than lust and sexual deprivation.

Reference:

Smith, C. V., & Shaffer, M. J. (2012). Gone but not forgotten: Virginity loss and current sexual satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39(2), DOI: 10.1080/0092623X.2012.675023